Results of Vocal Challenge

[Deleted]

I am opening up a new thread for posting the results of the vocal composition challenge. This seems to be what has been done with past competitions on this forum.

I have received three sets of marks and two sets of comments in all, so that is what I will be posting. I will open up a separate post for each participant.

At the end of posting all the info for the 6 participants, I will provide the final results.

[Deleted]

Adrian Allan

Marks:

84.75
90
90.5

Comments from Cody:

- Some very nice things here. Phrase shape and harmony has clearly been carefully considered, resolving dissonances and tension points where necessary.
- Very clean, nice modulations!
-I very much enjoyed the polyrhythms in the piano and the way you used them to transition into the key change at measure 62. The 2 on3 is a great effect in this slow, minor section, and later on with the fully diminished 7th chords.
-You lost points on lyrical accuracy. In my opinion, you left out far too much of the lyric given to be allotted any marks in this regard. Aside from that though, the only thing I would consider in a future draft would be to play around a bit more with the melodies. The voice leading in the melodies sometimes sound "textbook", in the sense that they're theoretically perfect.
-Great job!

Comments from Gloria Jean:

A pop ballad style composition- copyright information missing
Good use of the a tempo…. Rallentando effect that is part of the ballad style for the instrumental introduction.
Good flowing melody enhances the words – appropriate rhythmic motif
Bar 14 sudden four note chords in the right hand piano on eighth notes seems too heavy (full) for the word “smile” and the instruction of “leggiero”
Bar 19 good use of c minor chord for “enemy”
Bar 20 should be “joke’s” with an apostrophe
Bar 26 modulation to E major an odd choice as it is a relatively brighter key for words like “hate- odd and weird”
Bar 31 “weird” is one syllable so a slur is needed on notes e to g
Bar 32 “unmirrored” should have the word accent on the middle rather than last syllable of the word so a slur for “un” to the end of the bar followed by the rhythm in the right hand piano for “mirrored” should solve the problem (half and quarter notes)
Bar 42 piu mosso—good idea for the words as is the rhythmic interest
Bars 50-60 interlude –good idea to have a more flowing section that introduces the triplet figure that carries on into the B section
Bar 71 stops the flow with a dramatic rest which punctuates the “discord”- good
Bar 74 excellent motif-like use of bugaboos rhythm on “out of my life”
Clear ternary form when A section returns in Bar 85
Bar 93 and earlier in bar 13 added “just” to the text—good addition
Coda section uses only two lines of verse five of the text and given the “molto tranquillo”, that is a good thing as it would be tedious with any more text.
It is also a good contrast to the more rhythmic “bugaboos”
Small change of text “inside” rather than “within”—seems to work as the ah vowel sings better on a low B flat.
Not sure if the tessitura works for “sweet inner child” as it is rather low compared to the earlier notes of the song especially the low g on “your”
Perhaps you were thinking a lower vocal colour voice anyway throughout as the high note is only an E natural. The danger is getting too much “belt” sound when the pitches are so low.

Well Done

[Deleted]

John Biggs

Marks:

80.25
89
74

Comments from Cody:

-Overall, a fantastic job!
-Very minor issues. Some harmony discrepancies in the score. Ex - measure 2 - the stacked chord is F#, Bb, Db, C# and F. While the voice leading in the individual parts look like they make sense, the effect on the score does not. This chord should either be spelled F#, A#, C#, E#, or Gb, Bb, Db, F. Given the context, the former suggestion would likely be a better choice.
-Another example of this - mm. 241-244 - the chord in measure 241 in the rhodes piano is a G#min7, but the bass is playing Ebs. The modulation to Bb minor needs to be respelled as well, as the pivot chord you use is an F# major chord with a G# in the bass. Again, while the ear hears this correctly, it is more correct to have a chordal spelling with flats if you're going to a flat key (changing the spelling to a Gb major chord with an Ab in the bass).
- mm. 260-263 - I personally really like this part because of how cheeky it is to add so much harmonic dissonance. Unfortunately I had to dock you one point on thematic inconsistency with the rest of the piece.

Comments from Gloria Jean:

missing composer’s name and copyright information on the first page
score layout wastes a lot of paper—compress the staves to fit two stave groupings per page
interesting bass guitar part and quite appropriate string quartet parts—enjoyed the motif that kept returning (Bar 11 & 12)
it seemed that the string quartet was not very busy and if you are paying people to play the parts for you, it gets expensive – you may want to consider cello and viola only as those are the parts I hear strongly when the computer plays the parts.
Text problems ----- lots
Bar 19 –text needs to be grabbed and moved lower so that it does not come so close to the note ties
Bar 23 – “life” is one syllable so slur needed f sharp to f natural
Melody in the vocal part is rather angular
Word division for “bugaboos” changes the pronunciation as current would be bu(boo)-ga-boos – is this intentional?
Creative use of the repetition Bar 46 as “bugaboos” has four more than the text and it works also later bar 94, bar 142 etc.
Bar 62 wrong word “had” in original text not “has”
Bar 62 sparse accompaniment is good as the text is “no harmony”
Bar 64-66 need punctuation- comma missing and needs hyphens “har-mo-ny” & “dis-cord”
Bar 68-72 quotation marks missing
Bar 68 text runs into the notes so the lyrics need to be adjusted lower
Bar 77 needs the exclamation point in the text
Bar 114 “ain’t” needs the apostrophe and “en-e-my” needs hyphens
Bar 117 “joke’s” needs the apostrophe as it is a contraction of “joke is”
Bar 126 needs exclamation point
Bar 152-3 needs capital in “You” “feel” is one syllable so slur g to e and “ne-ver” needs a hyphen.
Bar 160 needs capital “You’re”
Bar 162, 167 commas missing “going” missing final “g”
Bar 163-164 unusual high pitch on weak syllable “o-ver”- did you want to accentuate the “ver”?
Bar 169 Capital “Don’t be a-fraid,” also hyphen and comma needed
Bar 170 “You’re” needs apostrophe as the contraction of “you are”
Bar 175 ”those” is one syllable so slur e flat to g
Bar 190-1 Did you mean “bu-ga bu-ga” (boo-gah boo-gah) with the dominant seventh pitches downward?
Bar 192-3 “Reach” (capital) and “wi-thin” would be pronounced “Why-thin” so the break should be “with-in”
Bar 196-7 “child” is one syllable so a slur would be needed – Is the syncopation intentional? as “child” is the strong beat text needing to be on the first beat of the bar normally… so elongating one of the f’s of in-ner (needs hyphen) to a half note would move the beat to the end of the measure and then the next bar would slur the f to g on the downbeat for “child”
Bar 202 text “wants” missing the “s’
Bar 205-6 “take” one syllable so slur a to g “hand” slur f to g
Bar 212 “rip-pling” needs hyphen and “g” also lower text to avoid collision
…..2

“2” Evaluation for John Biggs

Bar 217 “ex-plore” bar 220 “wa-ter” needs hyphens
Bar 224 Why is “know” capitalized? Also one syllable therefore slur d to c
Bar 226 text collide
Bar 226 needs special tools note mover to give enough room for the text “place” runs into “your” so slide “your to the right a smidge.
Bar 239 “emp-ty” Bar 242 “a-gain” needs hyphens Exclamation needed “God!”
Bar 246 inconsistant bugaboo break as earlier it was bu-ga-boos and now bug-a-boos Although this is more accurate, you must be consistant
Bar 252 “dis-a-ppear” word break as pronunciation affected (needs hyphens)
Bar 253 “hate-ful” needs hyphen
Generally a rather angular vocal line and rather low in the voice (instrumental use of the voice)
Instruments chosen- under utilized Fender Rhodes and only right hand chords generally.
Excellent use of bass guitar and good mood set with the use of the string quartet
Needs to have a better form of the composition as it is a rather loose through composed form with the “bugaboos” returning in a rather rondo-like fashion
Better knowledge of the lyrics notation needed with the missing hyphens and frequent collisions. Perhaps this is your first composition with a text. Become more familiar with the lyric tools at your disposal.


Good job—you must get more than five bars per page in the future. You must be fairly new at using this notation.

[Deleted]

Charles Gaskell

Marks:

92.25
68
87

Comments from Cody:

- The piece, as a whole, feels rushed. It is also inappropriate for an amateur choir. Not only is atonal harmony a challenge for many groups, but the inevitable tuning issues, rhythms, intervals, and dynamics (in particular, the "bugaboos" section, measure 94, the minor 9th interval in the soparano from A to Bb, measure 70, the mixed metre section, measure 113, the run in the basses, measure 168, among others) would be quite the endeavour for professional choirs and choral conductors alike.
-Points were given for accuracy within the text, consistency within the chosen pitch class sets, and clarity of the score.
- The music itself didn't seem to bear much resemblance to the text (apart from the "diminishing" effect at the end, and the rhythms in the "bugaboos" section [which, as previously mentioned, would be hard to keep together]). This can happen very easily in atonal pieces. Every set has to be chosen for a reason, with a beginning and end point. An example of where you could do this is in mm. 237-239, "live again with God!". The word "God" is a very important word, both in the line and in the bigger picture of the lyric. You can accentuate this by ending on a major chord on this particular word, resolving dissonances by step. Just because it's an atonal piece does not mean that every chord has to be dissonant.
-If you do intend on having this piece performed at any point, bring it to a choral conductor and/or choir to do a reading. The choral world, in my experience, is very friendly and would be happy to offer advice regarding the vocal technique and ensemble skills that are required to sing new and exciting repertoire.

Comments from Gloria Jean:

copyright information missing on the first page
score nicely laid out and easy to read BUT is seems complicated with double the parts—a community choir would not touch this composition and there are not a lot of professional choirs out there so you are limiting your performances.
Bars should maybe be numbered every five rather than each line as there are a lot of bars per line
Bar 6-7 Not sure why you would have the sopranos on a c sharp and the tenors on a c natural so early in the piece unless it pertains to the “odd and weird” bit – if that is the case then I would start with the parts doubled and then move to the dissonance Frequent dissonances throughout the piece seem unnecessary and will adversely affect the tuning of an acappella piece.
Bar 13 spelling mistake in the soprano parts “mirrored” not “morrored”
Bar 22-23 abnormally dissonant b/c plus f sharp/ f natural (this is not a chord) - thanks for following this with the unison bar 24-25!
Tonality in question again on cluster chord in bar 36 and bar 43-44 tenors—how will the singers find their notes and stay in tune?
The soprano g sharps are high so they over power the f sharps bars 40, 42 & 45
Bar 49-53 sits in the high soprano range so it will sound pinched—does this imitate a cat fight? The parts below also seem to meander with no real melody nor chordal center- also rather complex with eight parts at once and no tonal centre
Bar 61 is a normal e minor triad on the words “discord all the way”—why?
Bars 65-67 seem to provide relief with the unison but this seems incongruent with the text of betrayal.
The soprano bar 70 sticks out with the high b flat and the next two bars in ninths sounds like one of the parts is incorrect—I gather that is the betrayal!
Bar 86 spelling mistake in soprano for “true”
Bar 90—not a chord but a collection of dissonant notes going to b major triad resolving to b minor—a statement on the “love” perhaps
Bar 94—104 given the speed of the piece, Can YOU say the words up to speed?- also the break should be bug-a-boos or the pronunciation could be changed to bu-(boo)-ga-boos which makes this tongue twister even harder to say
Bar 104-5 the contrary motion is good but the tonality is not! G flat B flat D E
Bar 114-121 good use of familiar taunting melody
Bar 126 unusual choice of glissandi to “joke” in tritones but it works
Bar 130 unusual chord grouping G A D sharp and C sharp
The section beginning bar 139 is fast for the short note values—where can the singers breathe?
Bar 160 the alto part is not clear so maybe the vowel should be “neh” as it is only the first part of ne-ver and they do not finish the word. (This same problem Always)
Bar 168-171 interesting bass descending line but it goes by so quickly that it is hard to fit the words in let alone get the pitches correct. Perhaps slower note value
The punchy “no” section seems okay but the chord choices are unusual d sharp minor triad to a c sharp major triad for instance.
Already mentioned the fast “bugaboos”
The baritone solo in triple meter gets a little lost in the minor seventh chord on “reach” bar 195. is it a tone row? Rather angular and not very melodic
Bar 214-5 good hemiola in soprano part
Good use of contrasting dynamics and accents pages 12 & 13
Bar 228 soprano “fingers” spelling mistake
Effective ending as like the beginning by spelling parts starting low and ending high Notes by Gloria Je

[Deleted]

deleting second copy

[Deleted]

David Howard

Marks:

87
85
99.5

Comments from Cody:

- An immaculate score. Thank you for taking the time to make it the way it is.
-The music and form reflects the text very accurately.
-You have a clear understanding of harmony, voice leading, and style conventions. This is why I wish you had done more with the piece. There were times I felt you were almost channelling other composers within the genre with too little of your own voice. Everything felt very safe and conventional throughout the piece, and I feel like you could have experimented a bit more with some of the professions.

Comments from Gloria Jean:

Wonderful Broadway style introduction giving a momentum forward
Nice to have the additional guitar chords as is usual in musical theatre scores
I like how you have the fourth line of the verse each time in parlando or spoken text and thank you for putting the correct syllable on the beat.
The treatment of the repeated “bugaboos” nicely done with the triplets and unaccompanied followed by the mirrored repetition in the piano part.
Bar 19 starts like the beginning vocal but the second phrase is already different and the drama heightened
Bar 24 excellent discord with the G11 chord
Bar 29 also has good inflection although different from the first time in bar 15
The key and meter change in bar 33 excellent contrast for the next verse
The spoken text and repetition of the motif in bar 41 –2 and the repeated triplet “bugaboos” give continuity
Interesting seventh chord progression punches the laughing in bar 43—Good
Bar 47 reprise of key and melody for the next verse text
Bar 54 missing the tie on “now”
Bar 62 reprise of the modulation and triple meter but the vocal line is more sustained and there is no spoken text as before but it is replaced by a soaring phrase bars 66-69 This change is good dramatically.
Bar 76 the text is modified but it works better for the text symmetry
Nice use of hemiola in bar 80 to expand the phrase
Added word in bar 83 which sets up the phrase better
Changed words in bars 95 & 96 but again appropriate to keep the line more legato
Strong theatrical ending with minimum piano accompaniment

Well Done—a pleasing musical theatre style

[Deleted]

Ed Sharpe

Marks:

87.25
75
99.5

Comments from Cody:

- There are incorrect lyrics (ex. You think it's "odd" and weird) and misspelled lyrics (measure 309) in the score.
-While it would be unfair of me to deduct marks for not having an audio file (I didn't), I am not familiar with the effects you describe in the score, reducing my comprehension of the stmosphere you're trying to create in the piece (especially in regard to the genre - all I can hear is the unplugged version).
- A rich progression at "N", and a nice touch with the electric violin.
- Consider the accent ona spoken sentence when putting text to music. For example, the line "That even your soul is full of sin." The heavy words (where the line of the sentence heads) can either be "soul", "sin", or both. Also, to have the word "that" in this particular sentence on the downbeat does not make the music flow. It should instead be used as a pickup to the measure.
- Another thing to consider regarding text that creates more interest within the line is to use more than one note per word, particularly if the word is a "heavier" word in the line.
- Overall, a decent rock piece. The main reason that the overall mark isn't higher is the issue with the text setting, which is something I've been instructed to focus on while judging these compositions.

Comments from Gloria Jean:

Well laid out score with clear title, composer, lyricist and copyright markings
Interesting arrangement of instruments with four guitar lines and electronic violin (presumably some personal doubling on instruments) five kinds of keyboards and drums and other percussion.
Thank you for the rehearsal letters
Lovely mood set with the haunting synthesizer in minor keys f sharp, to a, to c to e
Two bar bass guitar pattern is energized and repeats four times to intro the lead singer – on the third repetition the synth is replaced by organ e minor to d minor
It is nice how the texture is oscillating between two chords but keeping a firm support underneath
Bar 21 spelling mistake – should be “odd” not “old”
Bar 23-4 rhythm “How life is un-mir-rored” – the word stress should fall on “mir” so perhaps half note, quarter and two eighths and then half and quarter, rest.
Rehearsal C is quite a rhythmic change in the guitars while the organ maintains.
Rehearsal D—wow an actual chorus part centred e minor, d minor to c major- this returns as a chorus later and is quite effective.
So far the melody is not very interesting in the lead vocal part and continues along without reflecting the words “fight” & “discord”-- needs some acknowledgement
Rehearsal F is like C as the words are the same—good continuity It is good though that it starts the same at rehearsal I but is changed at bar 80 as the words are also slightly changed
Bar 95 starts a rather long interlude starting out by repeating material from letter H exactly until bar 107 when a new four bar pattern starts for three repetitions ending the guitar dominance and switching to chordal keyboards with electric violin which is really imaginative for sixteen bars
The cool vocal choir mirrors the chordal keyboards for only 9 bars and then back in tag with the violin for 16 and then identical again but the third violin part has cool double stops and portamenti slides—how original!
The next section seems redundant rhythmic play but uses the other keyboards giving different sounds – too bad there was not a recording as it would have been good to hear the different qualities of keyboards and synthesizers
Bar 251 the lead vocalist returns and we can carry on with the text in a similar fashion for verse four
The interlude at rehearsal Z features the guitars and drums but this time rhythm is more important than melody but the chords are fuller especially at BB
Rehearsal CC is the start of verse five with the lead singer and the time has changed to 5 / 4 giving a flowing syncopation in the guitars with an imaginative off syncopation in the lead vocal part—complicated rhythmically
Bar 322—nicely chromatic for the lead singer “Get rid of those bugaboos”
Good change to 7 /4 time to help slow down the ending
Bar 345 to end – excellent choral rich four bars with lead vocal on top and synthesizer underneath.
Excellent use of your instrumentation
Well planned out and clear score—Bravo!

[Deleted]

Joseph Virgilio

Marks:

84.5
77
99

Comments from Cody:

-Try reworking the transition into the "Soft & Sweetly" section. Some good ideas were played upon, but the actual pivot chord (Gmaj add6) clashes with the following bar. An easy way to fix this without fundamentally changing the progression would be to include the top F-natural in measure 107 (it creates a leading tone effect, making the transition smoother).
-While the sixteenth figure works when you use it in the chorus (ex. "Bugaboos", mm. 19-20), it's because of the percussive nature of the word "Bugaboos". "Hates your" and "odd and" are poor choices for such a rhythm because of the soft consonants that the words begin with.
-This piece contains some rhythmic challenges for the two performers, but that makes it more fun and interesting! The textures and rhythms that play off of each other between the voice and the guitar are a great choice.
-There are some notational errors. A couple examples: measure 156, 3rd beat - D# and Eb are enharmonically equivalent, doubling the Eb makes more sense in relation to the chord. Measure 146, 4th beat - An Fmin7 should also have the Eb as opposed to the D#.

Comments from Gloria Jean:

good combination for this text and nice vocal inflection.
The bar numbers only start at the third measure so all bars are off by two
Tempo marking is good as the swagger is written in the parts so it is good to get the indication from the start.
Thank you for adding the copyright information
A good idea to repeat the text elongated in bar 12 as it sets up the bugaboo swagger repetition.
Verse two starting with the guitar doubling the voice gives a newness and contrasts the more harmonic lover in bar 23
Bar 26-27 seventh chords modulating shows the discordant words…. Well done
Bar 28-32 should be in quotation marks like the original text
Good addition of “bugaboos” in bar 32 – shows creativity
Bar 39-42 good repetition of the same motif
Bar 45 chromatic bit shows the silliness of the words
Bar 50-54 word repetition gives chance for guitar part to shine in interesting pattern followed by modulations in bar 56 & 57—effective for “ ha ha”
Three repetitions of text with different treatment each time good especially when followed by the familiar bugaboos pattern in bar 65-70
Verse three is really verse two again with the guitar doubling the voice to start but then continuing with a different chording although discordant as appropriate bar 76 and again bar 81 as dictated by the text – interesting choice.
Still needs quotation marks like original poem bars 78- 82.
Start verse four with a capital in bar 83
Repetition of the “no’s” appropriate and staccatos help to keep it moving forward
Bar 93 the last “no” should be on beat four and not on the next beat one as indicated by the tie (only copy mistake)
Bar 98 good and interesting harmonies with chromatic voice line
Good idea to add the rit and subito piano in bar 105-106 and also enjoyed the rich chording in the guitar part.
Nice mood change starting in bar 107 and good idea to change to compound meter
Good rhythmic interest while talking of play in bars 120-121
Bar 130 “ripp-ling” is just two syllables (not three) so two of the eighths should join together and either way works
Lovely soaring vocal line bar 132-136 with elongated rhythm to give the needed expanse to the text
Nicely contrasted with the easy swing that follows in bar 140
Appropriate re-arrangement of text in bars 141 and bar 144-5
Good use of repetition as a tool for emphasis thoroughout but especially bar 151 and again for the blues ending in bar 158
Good use of rests to give breathlessness in bar 155
Difficult guitar part and the singer would also need to be quite accomplished.
Enjoyable!!

[Deleted]

Final Results

The final results are as follows:

DAVID HOWARD - FIRST PLACE (average score of 90.5)

ADRIAN ALLAN - SECOND PLACE (average score of 88.4)

ED SHARPE - THIRD PLACE (average score of 87.2)

Congratulations to all participants on their excellent work. Thanks to our judges and most of all, thanks to Kevin for his guidance and support in doing this challenge.

Participants are now free to do as they wish with their music. Enjoy and have fun with it!

[djh255]

Thanks for a great competition Anne. I'm delighted to have come out on top of course (and pleasantly surprised considering the quality of the other entries) - especially after nearly blowing my chances earlier on so thanks for your forbearance on that.
Thanks also to the judges for some really helpful comments.//
Can I just ask if you put the marks in the same order as the judges comments? In other words is the first mark from Cody, the second mark from Gloria Jean and the third one no comment? It's just that I am having difficulty reconciling some of the comments with the marking. Just curious.//
Thanks again,//
Dave

[Deleted]

Apr 30, 2013 21:23:41 GMT djh255 said:

Thanks for a great competition Anne. I'm delighted to have come out on top of course (and pleasantly surprised considering the quality of the other entries) - especially after nearly blowing my chances earlier on so thanks for your forbearance on that.
Thanks also to the judges for some really helpful comments.//
Can I just ask if you put the marks in the same order as the judges comments? In other words is the first mark from Cody, the second mark from Gloria Jean and the third one no comment? It's just that I am having difficulty reconciling some of the comments with the marking. Just curious.//
Thanks again,//
Dave

No, it's the opposite. The first mark is from Tapio, the second mark is from Cody and the third mark is from Gloria Jean. Congratulations on coming out on top Dave!

A reminder to all winners that they have won an Angela Hewitt cd set (four cd set for the winner, double cd set for the other 2 places). Please let me know if you will be wanting to claim your cd set. Thanks!

[Joseph]

Apr 30, 2013 13:25:37 GMT @annegoodwin said:

Joseph Virgilio


Comments from Gloria Jean:

". . . Bar 26-27 seventh chords modulating shows the discordant words….

. . . although discordant as appropriate bar 76 and again bar 81 as dictated by the text – interesting choice."

Anne, please relate to Gloria Jean, "thanks for noticing."