Piece for Flute No. 1

[Deleted]

Here is the audio - [soundcloud]http://soundcloud.com/jamie_sutherland/piece-for-flute-no-1[/soundcloud]

Firstly I wrote the first 18 bars, then I have sat down with the piece twice since then. I don't want the piece to be dragged out, I quite like it short, but there is one major thing bothering me,

Does the theme at the end seem too sudden? I think it could be brought in more gently, but I am not sure if this is just me so I have brought it here to get as much lovely feedback as possible.

Don't let me down!

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[wizzarts]

Reminds me of some Shakuhatchi-music I have heard once. In my poor opinion there could be long fermatas between the single phrases. Also I have the feeling the confersation left the listener with some unanswered questions.

I like the style...

[Deleted]

I agree with putting a longer pause in, or maybe two!

I had the idea this morning, of creating a musical world, with different instruments telling different parts of the same story, possibly leading up to ensembles and larger things. Kinda like the chapters of a 'Lord of the Rings' book. So in these other pieces, (for cello, harp, piano ect.) the story would continue and hopefully resolve.

Am I in over my head with this idea? Writing this piece I feel that I have progressed with my single voice writing, but I was and still am unsure about those final bars. If I use the story idea, it keeps as a good introduction.

[Deleted]

There is an imbalance in the structure, but I don't think it's because the first idea comes back too suddenly. The piece is a bit too short to have a full-scale transition or bridge passage anyway.

What didn't quite seem to work was this: first time round we only hear that little idea once, but in the reprise it comes three times in succession (the middle one in a different octave admittedly), and we're more used to the reprise being either shorter or somehow varied.

In a standard ternary form (eg a minuet & trio) you usually get repeats in the minuet first time, and then in the reprise the repeats are omitted. You can't use that technique here because there aren't any repeats first time round (and I don't think it would help to put any in).

Alternatively in a da capo aria (Rossini or Mozart or someone like that), the main tune is sung simply first time, then when it comes back at the end it's decorated. I think you could do something like that. Maybe instead of just switching the middle repeat to a different octave you could vary it slightly (more than slightly would probably not work for such a simple idea).

Otherwise the only thing I could suggest would be to cut out the two repeats in the reprise altogether (make a short piece even shorter! but often less is more . . . )

[Deleted]

Some interesting ideas Tony, I shall definitely play around with them and see what I come up with. Thanks very much!

[Kevin]

Hi Jamie,

1. Why the 8ve over the opening?
2. Bar 20-23. I am not sure that you need to have it written as it is, makes it look tricky!
3. I feel that it needs to have a lot of rubato (You can add an element of that using Sibelius)
4. Get rid of the Fl. in the margin

I will show you what I mean before the end of the day.

[Kevin]

Okay so here are some suggestions. Asd to form etc I will leave that to the more knowledgable on the forum.

[soundcloud]http://soundcloud.com/king2b/jamie-flute/s-HLPzQ[/soundcloud]

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[Deleted]

Hello Kevin, the 8ve over the opening was because of the way I wrote it out on paper to start with. The pages don't allow for much head room so it was easier to just write it out clearly like that. I have no explanation as to why I never sorted it whilst inputting it to Sibelius!

I'm not sure about those bars, it does make it tricky to read, but I am not sure how I would notate it better with out changing time signature? But it would seem a bit unpractical for just those few bars.

I agree with the Rubato, I shall stick that in.

Those Fl. signs, I have no idea why they showed up. Quite odd.

I loved your version, although I did miss those grace notes! My favourite part had to be the piece ending on the C natural. It really sorted out the problem I was originally asking about, and created that whole new mystery about it.